Questions I've Asked Myself This Winter

The snowy cold days have given me a lot of time to question things I do and wonder if I should change some things in my country life. I've had to say to myself many times this winter, "Cheer up Buttercup! There have been days I've felt like Eeyore with that dark black cloud following me as I go about my day. Let's just say, it's been a challenge to be positive as I go about my routine with the freezing temperatures that seem relentless.

 Here's some questions I've asked myself this winter.

1.   Do I really want to live in Ohio?
2.   Do I really want to live in an old farmhouse?
3.   Why does it take two wood pellet stoves and a fuel oil furnace to heat a house?
4.   Why isn't this house insulated properly?
5.   Why do we wait until the coldest day of winter to call the guy to clean the fuel oil furnace? 
6.   Why does fuel oil cost so much?
7.   Why don't I have batteries in the radio and flashlight during a power outage?
8.   Why don't I have power when my neighbors lights are on?
9.   Do I really want to keep chickens when they don't lay eggs?
10. Why haven't I learned to roll up a 50' heavy-duty extension cord?
11. Why do wood pellets for the stove come in 40# bags?
12. Why do the wood pellets for the stove spill on the floor every time I put them in the stove?
13. Why do automatic generators cost thousands of dollars and why can't I have one installed?
14. Why doesn't my car start in freezing weather. Oh, I need a new battery?  Why do I wait until
winter to get a new one?
15. Why does the pellet stove motor blow-up in February?
16. Why does my dog shed more in the winter and why doesn't he want to stay outside awhile? Oh, that's right.  It's twenty degrees everyday!
17. Why can't my car be parked in the garage in the winter? Oh I forgot, seems its a storage building.
18. Why can't cows drink from the pond? Oh, it's frozen! That must be why they have to be watered twice a day. But thankfully, that's my husband territory.
19.  Do I really want to stay in my house all winter?  Maybe this retired teacher should get a job? Oh, teachers aren't working much lately....snow days continue. Maybe I could do some other job?
20.  Do I spend too much time on Facebook?
21.  Should I cook more meals?
22.  Should I clean my house better?
23.  Why don't I like to shop? That would get me out of the house.
24.  Why don't I read more novels?
25.  Why don't I write a novel?
26.  Why don't I read the Bible more?
27.  Why are my feet always cold?
28.  Why don't I exercise and eat right?
29.  Why don't I sleep well?
20.  Why is Jay Leno leaving The Tonight Show?
21.  Why do the women on The View talk all at the same time?
22.  Why do real estate taxes come at the same time as house insurance?
23.  Why is my retired teacher's salary $110 less? Oh right, the crappy insurance went up!
24.  Why do my sweatpants keep falling down? Maybe I should go shopping and buy some.
25.  When will it be Spring?  I thought Punxsutawney Phil was a quack, but it looks like Buckeye Chuck was the quack. Bah!
26.  When am I going to get a new house? What am I waiting for?  I'm certainly not getting any younger!

Some of these questions may never be answered, but I've got to remember this:

~God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.~

Oh, and one more thing, "Cheer Up Buttercup!  :)





  

The Dreaded Polar Vortex

   
    January of 2013 came in with what the meteorologists called the Polar Vortex.  Yes, bitter temperatures below zero and a wind chill value of -25 degrees to -40 degrees.  The last time I remember such cold was in 1996 when an ice storm blew in and temperatures were about the same. The power was out for five days on the farm after the electric pole split and fell to the ground.  The Polar Vortex experience wasn't nearly as devastating as 1996, but it wasn't pleasant.  You know it's cold when you have to carry warm water for chickens to drink in the coop and your dog doesn't want to go outside to do his business.  The cows stayed in the shed and the barn munching on their hay and could get water by stepping on the ice on the edge of the stream that runs through the pasture.Thankfully the worst of it only lasted two days, but left many reminders of the frigid temperature behind. Our pellet stove in the living room suddenly wouldn't blow the heat from the stove on the high setting. Each day it decreased in it's ability to operate properly until the blower quit working. The Polar Vortex got the best of it I guess and new parts had to be ordered to fix the problem. Thankfully, we had no frozen water in our house nor did we lose power, but my youngest son paid a big price due to the dreaded Polar Vortex.  The lock on the front door of his house froze and his key broke in half. Thankfully his back door opened.  The radiator cracked in his car and it needed replaced and the mechanics at Don's Service Center fixed it. Thanks to Don for being there to help.  When my oldest son dropped him off at my house to borrow my car, yep, my car wouldn't start. I couldn't find the keys to my husband's old truck and he wasn't home.  So the battery charger came to the rescue in the dark cold night. It only took an hour and a half to get it running.  But by far the most horrible result of the Polar Vortex was when my son's water pipes broke in his house as he was all lathered up with soap in the shower. Glad I wasn't around when that happened.  It took my sons two nights after work to fix that problem. A week after this ordeal my older son's water line ruptured and his basement filled with water.  He said it was a nightmare. The outcome to that fiasco is pending.  Looking back on the whole ordeal, we couldn't help but laugh as the story was rehashed over and over again. After reading the news on Facebook I realized many people were without power for eight hours. And I thought to myself, see, it could have been worse. Well, today was in the 30's and tomorrow is going to be beautiful with a high of 47 degrees.  Woo-hoo!  Time to celebrate! I learned a few things from this Artic Blast that came our way in SE Ohio, I don't ever want to see, hear or feel it again and our old farm house needs more insulation.!  Stay warm out there.  Winter has only begun!  :)

Halloween is for kids

Around this time of year I can't help but think of the Halloweens gone by. As a kid I loved Halloween.  What kid doesn't?  I don't know if it's the dressing up part that's so much fun or just going from house to house gathering as much candy as you can in one hour.  When my two boys were young we'd Trick-Or-Treat in the same neighborhood we lived in, which just so happened to be where I grew up.  I'd take them to the five streets near our house to the homes of people we knew and saw often in the neighborhood.  They'd sit on their porches waiting on the eager Trick-Or-Treaters to come by and try to guess who it was behind the mask. We'd walk at a snail's pace so we could see all the creative costumes walking by.  We'd talk and laugh and talk and laugh some more. I think it was the most fun when they were seven and under. It all seemed so magical then, everything was so exciting.  We'd all get scared as we passed by the haunted house on Mill St. where. as a kid myself, I saw smoke coming out of the chimney where no one lived.  OOOOO!  We'd ride by that house on our bikes, time and time again, hoping to see something out of place so we could ring the bells on our bikes and zoom down the street on our bikes to tell everyone what we'd witnessed.  It was fun telling that story to my boys and they seemed to believe every word that came out of my mouth.  That's what kids do when they're little, they believe. As the years went by, Trick-Or-Treat was still fun but now they'd go with their friends and run as fast as they could up and down the same streets.  It was the same familiar faces sitting on the porch.  It was the same candy and hot popcorn in paper bags being handed out by the friendly neighbors but now the race was on, as I stood back and watched my boys from afar.  When your kids are little you don't realize how fast the time will go because you're a young Mom just finishing up your day, trick-or-treating with your kids after working all day.  You're tired.  You know there's dishes to do when you get back home.  You know  that homework has to get done and baths to get. Of course everyone will stay up late after consuming several pieces of candy that's been checked and rechecked. So finally at 10 pm when everyone is asleep,  you fall asleep in the chair trying to relax from this day.  When you stop and think about it you have around seven Halloweens to enjoy the slow walks, the talks, the laughs, the wonder of it all. So please young Moms, enjoy those moments.  Because after that, Trick-Or-Treat just isn't the same.  As the years fly by you wonder where it all went.  You look at pictures and try hard to remember those days of going door to door gathering treats from friendly neighbors.  All those neighbors have moved on now in the circle of life, but I remember them fondly. I'm thankful my kids had a neighborhood to enjoy on Trick-Or-Treat night filled with fun memories of slow walks on dark nights with two boys I loved so much.  And even though they don't dress up like super-heros or mummies anymore, or at least I don't think they do,  I still love them. ~Toni~ :)

Nothing Stays The Same

Did you ever have one of those days that seemed like the one before, you know, that de'ja' vu kind of feeling.  I have those every once in awhile especially with the change of the seasons.  Days when memories flood my mind like dreams in the night.  Actually, I don't mind those days every now and again because the memories that come to me are times I've enjoyed with people I love. When I moved to the farm twenty-seven years ago my Dad was happy for me as I started this new adventure in my life.  He was glad I'd found someone to share my life with and he liked Brent's lifestyle on the farm as well as his as his quiet kind spirit.  He said anyone who would change his life to marry a woman with two kids must be a saint.  Well, I wouldn't go that far, but he's been able to endure the changes of having an instant family. Flexible is the word that comes to mind when I think of Brent.  I don't know that I could have married someone with kids like he did, but he chose to change and do it. And for that I'm grateful.  My Dad enjoyed coming out to the farm and helping anyway he could.  Everything from paneling a wall to building a hayloft & manger to putting a roof on the spring house to protect our water supply.  He especially liked driving the truck during hay season and doing whatever he could to give us a good start in our new marriage. Even today, after all of these years, twenty-two long years, tears fall on my cheeks as I write this missing his smile, his voice and his beautiful face. After a short 5 years of living on the farm, my Dad died suddenly at 69 years old. Nothing stays the same.  This day turns into another day, months and years go by and the seasons change.  So must I. When I moved out here my boys were 2 and 9. They may not agree, but I think this country life was a great place for them to grow-up. We all learned together to raise animals and be free to run around and do all the things kids used to do outside such as playing in sand and water, camping and building lots of bonfires.  We went to church sometimes on Sundays, we had family dinners, we fixed broken things and planted a garden and raised pigs for 4-H.  We worked hard and my kids learned to do many chores, which I don't think they really enjoyed that much. But it taught them many skills I know they've used as adults. Raising a family and teaching school kept me so busy I really didn't have time to be depressed after losing my Dad. Life had to go on for all of us. I think that's why I think of him so much today, in the quiet times as I watch the seasons change.  I know he's in Heaven and I know he'd be happy and proud of the life I've made with Brent on the farm.

I know I'll see him again. I feel him with me always and my heart is full.  We don't know how long we have on this earth.  Today may be the last day.  I choose to smile at the changes in the seasons and the changes in my life.  I know that's what my Dad would want me to do. ~Toni~ :)

The Day the Sky Turned Black

It was just another day on that September evening in 2010.  September 16, 2010 around 6:40PM seems to stick in my mind.  I was glad to be home after I'd been called in to teach Kindergarten that day and we had just eaten supper.  I walked in the living room and as I glanced out the window the sky was black. I said to Brent, "Hey, look at the sky!  Are there storm warnings out?"  He said. "Yea, I think so." The windows had been opened due to the cool pleasant weather we'd been having so I thought it was a good idea to shut them. The wind seemed to pick up suddenly as I hurried through the house securing the windows and as I got to the kitchen, Brent yelled, "Hit the floor!"  As I did that sound you hear about when a tornado hits, happened to us.  I couldn't believe this was happening right here on our little farm. I got up on my knees and looked out the storm door of the kitchen and debris was flying by sideways. Brent yelled, "There goes the front porch!" With the wind howling and everything whizzing by, suddenly all I could think about was my son, Brian.  Had he walked out in the woods?  Even though he was 26 years old I was in a panic wondering where he was. After several minutes he came running in the door asking if everyone was OK and luckily he'd been in the garage and watched the whole thing take place.  Thank God, because the garage stayed together and only suffered a little damage to the roof.  I was so relieved to see his face as I got up from the floor and just grabbed and hugged him around the neck. When we walked outside I saw total destruction of most everything except the chicken coop.  The roof on the barn and the Little House where Dorothy, my Mother-in-law lived, was partially to completely gone. We were relieved she wasn't there during the storm. Trees were broken in half with limbs and leaves covering the ground.  Porch roofs were gone and anything that used to be in our yard had disappeared.  Huge tree limbs were now inside our house sticking through the broken windows. Our chimney was on the ground but thankfully the roof to our house was still there. It actually reminded me of what a war zone may look like, or at least the ones I've seen in movies.  There was a silence in the air as we walked around the farm and the dark clouds in the sky were brightening as the storm passed by.  It's one of those things you think will never happen to you.  A tornado in Ohio in September, how could that be?  We really didn't have a clue what to do next.  I went back inside the house and started picking up leaves, tree limbs and broken glass.  During this ordeal I never cried until look after it was over.  After seeing Brian's face and knowing he was fine nothing else mattered to me.  It was something we could fix, replace and deal with. If he'd been in the woods where the storm went by, well, I don't want to think what could have happened.  We found things in the woods months later that had been picked up by the wind and taken into the woods. The months it took to pick up, estimate, get insurance claims figured out, tear down, and rebuild was stressful and at times frustrating.  But we did it and two years later we tore down the Little House due to the extensive damage. Thanksgiving Day of 2012 was bittersweet. We had our Thanksgiving dinner and then I watched as Brian and Brent tore the house down that had brought so much joy to so many people on many Thanksgiving Days.  Even though so much of the damage has been cleaned up, I can still see trees broken in half on the fence line when I look out my kitchen door.  Maybe it's still there as a reminder to make the most of each day because you just never know what will happen when the sky turns black.

I Want My Mommy

Anyone who's been around kids knows that when things are quiet you'll get that feeling that something just isn't right.  Well it's the same with calves when they've been separated from their mothers for weaning.  The noise level is a constant irritating sound of mooing back and forth for days.  When Brent left for work in the middle of the afternoon I noticed a silence outside and got that feeling that something just wasn't right.  And sure enough, the claves had escaped from the shed. As I looked out at the pasture I saw the calves with their mothers and couldn't help smile as a mother cow licked her calf contently. I guess I don't blame them for wanting to be in the pond pasture with their mothers.   Even though the shed had everything to meet their needs all they wanted was their mother.  All the mother wanted was her calf. Sound familiar? Just like the bond we have with our babies, the mother cow feels the same for her calf.  She'll do whatever she has to do to get to her calf and I'm wondering if one of them was able to lick the chain until it came loose.  Brent didn't have a spring clip on the chain so that's definitely a lesson learned.  I was laughing to myself thinking that we may have a MacGyver in the group who plotted the escape in the night and executed the plan in the late morning hours.  I really never thought cows were too intelligent but when I saw that gate open wide I thought differently.  Don't underestimate the instinct of a mother to care for its young.  It's not a pleasant thing to have to do when it's time to let your kids be on their own. When it's time to let go it's stressful to all involved.  The time comes quickly for the mother weaning her toddler and grinning and bearing it when it's tune to take her baby to a sitter.  The time comes to send her baby off to school as tears stream down her cheeks and then she says it's OK to let her baby stay overnight with the grandparents. It's the same for the mother cow when that time comes to let go of her calf.  She's naturally upset but she'll have to surrender to the fact that her calf  is going out on its own. Growing up is a challenge for all living things. Guess it's back to the drawing board for Brent.  Maybe MacGyver can give him some ideas on how to keep the calves in the shed.  LOL :)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

                   

Living on a farm is sometimes not always a bed of roses. There are many things that have to be done that no one looks forward to, like weaning the calves.  It's difficult to separate calves from their mothers but it has to be done, whether or not your wintering the mothers or not.  The calves are five months old and yesterday was the day Brent decided they would be weaned.  They were in the shed getting a drink and were away from their mothers and Brent simply shut the gate.  It's usually not that easy but this time it just turned out that way and well, it seemed like the perfect time. If he had planned to do it at that moment, of course, it would've been next to impossible to separate them.  All was good & the calves seemed settled with their hay & water in the shed and the mothers standing outside the shed watching intently at their babies.  Brent and I left to visit his Mom at Kindred Care and get a bite to eat.  When we returned the bawling and mooing had already begun and it's still going on as I write this.  I feel so bad for the mother cows and the calves but I also feel bad for our neighbors.  Every year we do this and I know they can't stand the noise for days on end.  It usually takes a week for things to quiet down  but it's a very long week for everyone.  So, to my neighbors, I'm so sorry you have to be bothered with the noise and I hope you'll forgive us once again.  Thank goodness our neighbors are 4-Hers and have raised calves, pigs, goats, lambs, rabbits, chickens and horses. In other words, they're country people too and I think they understand the reasons we have to wean the claves.  Anyway, I hope so.  This to shall pass just as everything does living on a farm.  Soon, Brent will choose which ones will be sold to make a manageable herd for the Winter.  The calves will be weaned and won't be bawling for their Moms and the Fall days will be peaceful and quiet once again.